It's food poisoning.
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This Friday (today), I actually have lots to do. I have 2 work to attend, a test, return some equipment I borrow from the library, I have to pick up my dry cleaning, and most importantly (as a student), today's class covers the content that will be appearing in next week's mid term test.
Uh oh, I thought. This is annoying, as I lie in my bed squirming. I finally got up and drank a glass of water, pretty much vomit it out immediately. Read online and found out, you're suppose to drink water in sips. That makes sense, should have looked it up before doing anything but its too early in the morning.
Right, I was going to do my laundry today, but I ran out of detergent, so I was about to buy detergent when I'm picking up my dry cleaning since the drug store is just next door, and now here I am, in my PJs, still cold, emailing all the people I was supposed to meet up with today (Wow there were lots of emails, I am a busy man). With my Friday schedule completely messed up, I do what any sick person would do in bed. Think about how I could do all these things throughout the weekend.
The mere thought of it made my headache even worse. My errands for today was supposed to keep me occupied until almost 9pm. My weekends aren't exactly free either, so my need to shove all these errands in is scary.
The nice thing about all these is that, never once, did I start getting depressed or something like that. To be honest, I was in physical pain, so there's really no time to think. But when I do have time to think, I immediately shift gears and schedule my weekend. I would have thought that I'd break down crying going "Why? Why? Why??", while going "hnnggg hnggg HNNGGG IT HURTS". I have a meeting on Saturday. It's one of the many odd jobs I have accepted. In this "job", I am the expert panelist on the subject of "living abroad as an immigrant". Yeah, I guess they could really just pick up any non-white looking fellow off the streets but I was personally recommended to by my boss' boss, which was nice. After the panel, I will be attending workshops as the "teacher", educating newly arrived immigrants on how to assimilate.
I understand assimilation is scary. I have a friend who personally hates where're at right now. The friend is always comparing it with home, and saying how home is better. The friend told me that it is her (I guess I'll use pronouns now, using the friend again and again is a handful) parents the one that forces her to go abroad for studies, because they realised she's getting "too comfortable at home". I agree. Everytime I talk to her, she's always ranting about this place. Her sisters (who are here with her) are okay with this place though. Yeah I know St John's is nothing like home, but do not fault the locals for asking us questions about our origin and culture. They really don't know, not everyone could leave home like us.
A story! One of my friend (Malaysian) is dating a local. She's from a small village with a population of 6000 people. When she visit her family for the first time, the little sister of the local (I think she's around 10 years old) asked her a question: "Why are you brown?" When she came back and told us the story, we all laughed. We all know she isn't being racist, she's just not exposed. She then told us how her parents went on "damage control" mode, thinking that she has offended her, but we all know, it's fine. The kid literally have not seen anyone else that isn't white, of course she'll be curious! Maybe she could have worded it better but she's 10 years old, she gets a free pass.
Apropos to that story, I also remember the time in which I told my parents I'm dating a Swede. Oh my, my mom literally got that disappointment on her face, while my dad was just "oh okay, if you guys can gel, why not?" One of the last thing my mom told me before I left for Canada was “不要交一个白的女朋友喔！” (it means don't get a white girlfriend). My brother was there that time, so we both kind of teamed up and continually teased my mom about it. Either way, in the west, things like "board games" and "table top RPGs" are more acceptable than in the East, where people who do those things are literally branded as "freaks" by society. So when I told my parents about how I get to mingle with lots of westerners, they were kind of shocked, my brother too.
Basically, I noticed one thing. I usually have 2 group of friends. The cultural group of friends and the hobby group of friends. The cultural group of friends are usually from the East. We hung out because we speak the same language, eat similiar food, and culturally we act kind of samey. It's comfortable, it's safe, it's nice when you're in a foreign land. Then there's the hobby group of friends. We share board games, comics, video games, typical geek stuff. And usually in the hobby group, I am literally the only "non-white in culture". There's this Asian guy but he was born and raised here in St John's so he don't count.
Which comes to this other point. The hobby group of people are aware that I'm not exactly from here. They know that I'm a foreigner with the same interest, that's all. What's cool about them is that they'd hear me out. Which means that apart from our usual geek talk, they'd hear me out on my "cultural" talk. Even though none of them knows what it feels like, they'd sit down and listen to me talk or rant about anything. The cultural group of friends though, is not the same. I don't think I have ever talk to them about my hobbies. Or at least, a proper conversation. Many years of this made me realised this, that no matter how closely related our cultures are, if our interest do not collide, it would suck. Because at the end of the day, when you're not talking about your day, you're probably talking about what interest you. "Oh, the new Smash is coming out!" "Oh, MUSE just released a brand new album!" Things like that! So honestly, I've looked past that culture thing. My mom always told me that why Asians are preferable partners is because "there wouldn't be a culture shock". I mean, yes, that's true, but the culture shock between partners is kind of fun too! It's fun learning about what the other one's cultures are. From yawning with your mouth exposed means you're inviting someone to touch your tongue (really annoying, but could be remedied by literally just putting your hand over your mouth), to not putting keys on tables/counters (something about working women of the night), all these are fun! Sure, sometimes there may be cultural clashes, but that can be solved by understanding, empathy, and some effort. While a lack of interest is just killer.
And there's group 0. The special group of friends. The ones where our culture and interest align. They're the best, I miss them.
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| Figure 59.1: 2014! When will I see you guys again ;___; |
But yeah... not everyone thinks like I do. Just like my friend who prefers comfort (I mean why wouldn't you?), I too would like comfort. But my realisation is that what I thought was comfort before wasn't exactly "comfort". In other words, it's comfortable, but not comfy. Comfortable is like room temperature water to me: completely safe, 0 calories, and does not harm anyone (except maybe robots), and it's good for you too! Re-hydration and all. Comfy though, is like... is like... is like... nice...? I can't explain the concept, but trust me you all know what I'm talking about, and I strive for comfy, not comfort.
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Yesterday, I went to sleep at almost 2am. What was I doing till then then? I was just listening to music. Just listening back those songs that I used to listen to but not anymore because they're at the bottom of the pile. There's this one song that I loved (and still love), and I was just constantly replaying the song. It's one of those song that resonate with me at the moment (like Night of the Osmanthus). Here you go.
The first verse and the chorus was just.... nice~! It's a lyric video but I'm gonna post the first verse and the chorus down here anyway.
I would like to leave this city
This old town don't smell too pretty and
I can feel the warning signs running around my mind
And when I leave this island I'll book myself into a soul asylum
'Cause I can feel the warning signs running around my mind
So here I go, I'm still scratching around in the same old hole
My body feels young but my mind is very old
So what do you say?
You can't give me the dreams that are mine anyway
Half the world away, half the world away
Half the world away
I've been lost, I've been found but I don't feel down
I now need to find something to eat. Something nutritious but also could be easily vomit out. So yeah, it be like this sometimes but *shrug*. Ciao.
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